Reflection on my 12 Month Art Immersion
Milky the Chook inspects the first three paintings in my Botanical Octaves Series
This journal entry is a combination of the past year of art immersion and what brought me to the point of making the decision to saturate in creativity for a whole twelve months. It is much longer than my usual entries and really for those who enjoy hearing other's stories and I hope it contributes to some inspiration or shared experience.
My love of painting came to me later in life. At school I never thought of myself as an “art” person - one of those mysterious people who can magically draw things from scratch or paint an amazing portrait - I remember one class which must have been Year 10 when I could picture a bridge in a meadow of flowers in my mind which I wanted to paint but having no experience or knowledge how to convert this onto a canvas it looked like a disaster and I think I felt completely frustrated and threw it away immediately! The art teacher was not too keen on their vocation either so classes weren’t particularly inspiring and that was about it for art (aside from the obligatory paper mache project which for me was a pink pig in Year 5). What I did love was flowers, nature, poetic language and the mystery of the unseen world. I knew the name of nearly every obscure flower or plant before I started primary school, was entranced by red tipped little ferns and furry moss at places like Springbrook, and my place to retreat was my own little created garden. I have always found nature to be both soothing, healing and magical.
After school I went to the University of Queensland and started studying journalism because my dream was to be a writer. However I was more enchanted by the Jacarandas and lakes then the journalism course which felt contrived and stifling. Psychology subjects were much more interesting however I had heeded the advice of my favourite high school teacher Miss D who warned not to pursue psychology as it was an endless path. However in the absence of anything else that captivated my interest, psychology it became and yes she was right, once you are on that path you just have to keep going.
I became a Clinical Psychologist and like many of us juggled family life (having my beautiful twins who are now 20), my husband and I started a large Practice in Brisbane with emphasis on a beautiful and nurturing environment (but came with the burden of owning a business, particularly through covid). We had also established and run a charity for three years as well as a couple of other businesses and while I loved aspects of my work there was often this feeling of being so weighed down, so much weight on our shoulders. As most small business owners know, running a business can be exhausting with a lot of behind the scenes challenges leading you to question whether it is worth it all at times.
Over the past couple of years I experienced some of the hardest challenges of my life so far, resulting in deep soul searching and some new pathways arising, sometimes quite dramatically. When those pathways appeared I had the deepest feeling of “go” - despite the unknown and I knew with deep certainty that I needed to starting painting.
I had dabbled in painting about five years ago when we built a holiday house on the Sunshine Coast and I wanted to fill it with original art rather than prints so I think I did a short acrylics course at Brisbane Institute of Art and then self taught using oil paints which I knew was my medium the first day I started using them. About 18 months ago I did a short oils course to learn the parts I was missing. I also did a couple of other short workshops in person and online including a year long online course that I didn’t finish. I considered formal art school but to be honest felt a bit disllusioned with a world in which everything is assessed, ranked, critiqued and evaluated and I was searching for the complete opposite of this constricted, contained measure of sense of self. I learned through trial and error, visiting every gallery I could in Australia and on holiday in France, reading masses of art books on techniques, styles and artists and soaking up inspiration (mainly from my backyard at Cedar Creek! Pictured below).
One of my hardest moments was receiving an unexpectedly mean and aggressive message from another artist who I barely knew but felt threatened that my style was too similar to their style. For me my art is the more soul baring practice I have ever achieved and comes from a very meditative place inside based in all of my experiences in life so far so this was quite hard to navigate emotionally at the time and briefly knocked me off center. But the vast majority of interactions I have had in the art world have been beautiful and positive and I think this negative stance this artist presented comes from deep insecurity and and a lack mindset rather than an abundance mindset - the way I see it, the more art can bring beauty and emotional depth to the world, the more it is needed. It is a big thing to put yourself out there I think!
The main components of what I started to express in my work was the unseen world - the essence behind the physical, especially nature and flowers. Ritual, creativity, expression, joy, delight, surprise and all those other wonderful energies (most of all love) which often get crowded out in the day to day grind where our ego mind gets fixated on all that it perceives to be wrong. I made the decision to retire from being a psychologist to fully immerse in painting and this is my journal of my first twelve months.
I decided I would paint on average for 20 hours or so each week and just see where painting takes me. These are the learnings that have most influenced my painting so far:
Understanding colour and the colour wheel including mixing and creating colours that look natural and how to evoke mood, warmth and distance with colour.
Understanding the importance of contrast: darkness and light (mirrored by my psychology experiences and interest in consciousness and the human experience) - thinking of art in musical terms - high and low notes (this inspired my Australian Botanical Octaves Series). Creating paint values from darkest to lightest gives painting depth and vibrancy.
The most interesting images emerge from paintings when I don’t try to impose what the painting is going to be or be fixed or controlling about how something is supposed to look. The most lovely images emerge when I have the subject (usually a plant) right in front of me, think of that plant’s energy and personality, hold the brush really loosely and allow that to form on the canvas.
Sometimes I have to park a painting for several months until I know what direction to go. Painting frustrated ends up in a mess (and then the wheely bin!).
I am excited to have now found my favourite brushes, my favourite paint brands and colours, my favourite mediums and the confidence to trust the painting to emerge rather than overthinking. And I have even sold quite a few paintings!
In terms of the future, I am continuing to paint most days of the week. At the moment I am working in Psychology in a small mentoring capacity as we have sold our clinic and I’m keen to see a happy transition process. I am very excited at the prospect of Psychedelic Therapy and its impact to help and heal as this becomes part of the wellbeing landscape in Australia’s future so I think if anything tempts me back into clinical work it will be that….I am a huge advocate of plant medicines to help and heal. Art will always be a big part of my life now and I absolutely love creating paintings and seeing the find their homes.
I’m going to do some posts soon about my favourite paint colours, brushes etc for other interested art enthusiasts! Thank you to the beautiful and kind artists who have shared their skills, knowledge and time with me so far in my journey.
I have now been painting consistently (20 hrs a week or so) for about 14 months. Here is my latest work!
Luminescence | Of the Earth but not of the Earth series | 75cm Oil and Acrylic on Canvas | February 2023
